Enjoy The Show!

So lately i have been going over a lot of stuff in my head, trying to sort out a lot of the stuff i have been going through the last couple months. I have always been a deep believer in the old cliche “You can not truly love another person until you learn to love yourself”. This led to me coming up with the idea that when you are not in relationship with another person, you should try living life as though you are in a relationship with yourself. Like, could you actually stand to be with yourself? Could you take yourself out to dinner? Could you go out for a walk with yourself? If you were sitting across from yourself at a table listening to yourself would you be thinking “Oh dear god, what is this guys problem?”

I have known a lot of people in my life who are afraid to be alone with themselves. This is usually because they do not want to face the personal problems that they have hidden away in their mind. However, this is a bad way to live life. The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is the one you have with yourself. Other people come and go, but you will always be with yourself. Just like any regular relationship, it should be approached in the same manner. You need to be open and honest with yourself, you need to know your fears and your flaws, and most importantly you need to know how to love yourself inside no matter what. With this love comes self esteem and self confidence.

In practice, most people ignore this fact, and they look for someone else to come along and give them their confidence, they let someone else define them. This may be great, but it only lasts for as long as that relationship lasts. Eventually that person may leave, and with them they will take those things they gave to you. So you never really gained self confidence, you just borrowed someone elses. For this reason a lot of people will do crazy and desperate things when they feel the security of that relationship is threatened, because they know if that person leaves, then they will have to be alone with them selves again. Since most people are afraid of this, they make bad choices to avoid having to deal with their personal issues, which usually comes in the form of throwing themselves into the arms of the next person who comes along, and in turn keeping the cycle going. Others find a way to be alone with themselves, but they turn bitter and jaded, living their life out of touch with their true feelings.

Of course, there are lots of people who are in touch with themselves, and they do truly love the person they are, who find themselves getting into a relationship. Sometimes they are lucky and the relationship supports their efforts to continue to grow as a person, but sometimes people get caught up in their partners issues, and lose sight of themselves. At this point they begin living for their partner, off their energy, and have begun to neglect themselves. This usually leads to the partner being able to take control of the relationship, and for the person to find themselves trapped in a situation where they are suffering. Of course, when this ends, it is even worse, because not only have they lost their partner, but they also have a void they are not too sure at first how to fill. Some people, usually with the help of friends and family, find the advice needed to learn how to connect with themselves again, and others go on and continue the cycle like above.

Add to this all the other problems with life, money, school, work, stress, family, kids, marriage, sex, and health, and you can see how easy it could be to completely lose sight of yourself in the mess. However, if even in all that mess, you can find an outlet, take some time to date yourself again and get back in touch with yourself, you really can discover a confidence that is totally from within, and that no one else controls or owns, and as long as you are remaining true to yourself, it is always yours to take with you in your life.